My shiny new conspiracy theory

My shiny new conspiracy theory

Here’s my theory which is mine.

When something truly shifty is going on, the government has agents acting as conspiracy theorists who put out the stupidest crap imaginable so people will immediately dismiss any reasonable theories about what might actually be getting covered up.

Like this spectacular brain-fart:

So I see this embarrassment of a “revelation” plastered all over Facebook. It’s the same guy. That’s obvious. Go look in a mirror. When you smile, your nose widens significantly. His head is turned. That makes one ear look bigger. Beyond that, many things are different like the lighting between the two pics, the dilation of his pupils, the fact that he’s unshaven, has longer hair that’s been dyed, etc. But your most basic facial recognition is telling you it’s the same guy… because it is.

I’ve also heard something about a gas mask that sounds kind of fishy but I haven’t looked into it. All I know is my first impression of some people who think these two pics are not the same guy and it ain’t great. Let’s just say that first impression doesn’t have me inclined to sit quietly and patiently listen to whatever else they have to say.

I’m not ragging on conspiracy theories in general. I’m trying to be very specific with my criticism. This strikes me as shot-gunning. That’s what my teachers used to call it when you don’t know the answer to an essay question so you just write a lot of stuff in hopes of saying something that sounds like the right answer. Get it? A shotgun has a wide spray of shot so you hope a few of them hit the target though most will miss. Those teachers saw it for what it was though and even if you said something correct about 10% of the time, they still penalized you for the 90% of pure bullshit you scribbled onto the paper.

It’s like you’re trying to get people to question the mainstream story but this shotgun attempt to raise suspicion just ended up biting you in the ass because you look like an idiot. Whether there is something to your theory or not, you’ve now lost your audience.

Keep conspiracy theorizing. Just pick your battles a little more carefully and think before you leap. That’s my advice.


Discussion (2)¬

  1. kurt says:

    Dale, this is Kurt. We went to GA Tech together. Email me sometime.

  2. Red says:

    I give you one million points for the extremely obscure Monty Python reference.